Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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