I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
