Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
