I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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