Im at strip club and am horny
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
