FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my being single is dangerous.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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