He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
