marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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