Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
