the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
