She announced her abortion via fbk
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
