Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
