It was confusing and full of hummus
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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