Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
