He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
