I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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