i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
