I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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