There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
