sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
