Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You smell like stripper and shame
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
