We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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