Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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