Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
