I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
