She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
