My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Buhtt sex?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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