new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
