Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
