kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
