I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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