Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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