yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
