Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
