He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
