FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
so much tequila, so little girl.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
