Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
