He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
