she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
