id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
