i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hippo gnu deer
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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