You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
