It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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