if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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