Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
