when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
