Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
