I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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