Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
