if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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