Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
