even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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