OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
True college students do jello shots in the library
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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