it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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