Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
