Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
