Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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