every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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