I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize